Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff: How Obsessing Over Details Can Ruin Your Wedding Day

Kalee Marquis's avatar

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“When we’re together, I forget the rest.”

Recently, I’ve been thinking a lot about what a wedding is truly all about. Sure, you have the food, the dancing, the favors, the glitz and glam, but have you ever stopped to ask yourself why you are getting married in the first place?

At its core, a wedding is supposed to be a celebration of love. It brings together two families, two sets of friends, two different groups of coworkers, who couldn’t wait to rejoice in your honor. But for some reason,  many brides tend to overlook this aspect and focus more on the tiny details—details that no one else in attendance will most likely even notice.

Don’t get me wrong—every bride and groom should have a list of items that is most important to them. Whether it be the linen, the centerpieces, the food or the entertainment, there are usually 1-2 large components that, after evaluating the wedding day, seem to mean the most. However, your wedding planning should not feel like an arduous task.

While in a meeting with one of my brides last week, she began to tell me a little bit about her best friend’s wedding that is coming up shortly. When discussing the bride’s planning experience, she said: “She told me that she just can’t wait for the honeymoon. She just wants the wedding to be over at this point.”

WHAT?! The wedding is supposed to be the height of the experience! If you find yourself lost in a sea of details with only dreams of post-wedding peace pulling you through, there are several items that you need to reevaluate:

1) Are all of the small details that you are incorporating necessary? Are they worth the stress that you are putting on yourself to make them a reality? What items are a must for you and your fiancé? If you can live without the customized mason jars on the bar, nix them. You’ll thank yourself in the end for saving both time and money on something that wasn’t that important to you in the first place.

2) Who is taking care of your day-of setup? If your venue does not come with a coordinator, hire a day-of planner. They are professionals with a heightened sense of task/time management. After a few meetings and phone calls, your day-of setup will be in phenomenal hands, removing more weight off of your shoulders.

3) Are there other obligations currently taking up time that you would otherwise use to plan? A lot of my couples are in the process of buying a house or earning a degree. If other tasks require that sacred free time, hire a wedding planner. Just as you would hire a DJ to handle your music and a florist to handle your centerpieces, a planner will be able to execute your vision to a T. Invitations, favors, escort cards, DIY projects and more can be taken care of by the capable skill-set of a professional planner.

4) Finally, step away from the Pinterest Board. Remember, while a lot of the ideas on Pinterest are gorgeous and entirely doable, there are also a lot of photos that are staged (created for photo shoots). If all of the ideas swirling around you seem overwhelming, take a step back. You may need an uninfluenced moment to think of something more original, achievable, and most of all, worth your time and energy.

So for all of my brides-to-be, please remember what your wedding day is all about and try to have some fun along the way! If you find yourself dreading the process or anxiously awaiting for the wedding to pass you by, your process needs to be tweaked. Here’s to your excitement only growing as the big day gets closer and closer.



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