Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff: How Obsessing Over Details Can Ruin Your Wedding Day

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“When we’re together, I forget the rest.”

Recently, I’ve been thinking a lot about what a wedding is truly all about. Sure, you have the food, the dancing, the favors, the glitz and glam, but have you ever stopped to ask yourself why you are getting married in the first place?

At its core, a wedding is supposed to be a celebration of love. It brings together two families, two sets of friends, two different groups of coworkers, who couldn’t wait to rejoice in your honor. But for some reason,  many brides tend to overlook this aspect and focus more on the tiny details—details that no one else in attendance will most likely even notice.

Don’t get me wrong—every bride and groom should have a list of items that is most important to them. Whether it be the linen, the centerpieces, the food or the entertainment, there are usually 1-2 large components that, after evaluating the wedding day, seem to mean the most. However, your wedding planning should not feel like an arduous task.

While in a meeting with one of my brides last week, she began to tell me a little bit about her best friend’s wedding that is coming up shortly. When discussing the bride’s planning experience, she said: “She told me that she just can’t wait for the honeymoon. She just wants the wedding to be over at this point.”

WHAT?! The wedding is supposed to be the height of the experience! If you find yourself lost in a sea of details with only dreams of post-wedding peace pulling you through, there are several items that you need to reevaluate:

1) Are all of the small details that you are incorporating necessary? Are they worth the stress that you are putting on yourself to make them a reality? What items are a must for you and your fiancé? If you can live without the customized mason jars on the bar, nix them. You’ll thank yourself in the end for saving both time and money on something that wasn’t that important to you in the first place.

2) Who is taking care of your day-of setup? If your venue does not come with a coordinator, hire a day-of planner. They are professionals with a heightened sense of task/time management. After a few meetings and phone calls, your day-of setup will be in phenomenal hands, removing more weight off of your shoulders.

3) Are there other obligations currently taking up time that you would otherwise use to plan? A lot of my couples are in the process of buying a house or earning a degree. If other tasks require that sacred free time, hire a wedding planner. Just as you would hire a DJ to handle your music and a florist to handle your centerpieces, a planner will be able to execute your vision to a T. Invitations, favors, escort cards, DIY projects and more can be taken care of by the capable skill-set of a professional planner.

4) Finally, step away from the Pinterest Board. Remember, while a lot of the ideas on Pinterest are gorgeous and entirely doable, there are also a lot of photos that are staged (created for photo shoots). If all of the ideas swirling around you seem overwhelming, take a step back. You may need an uninfluenced moment to think of something more original, achievable, and most of all, worth your time and energy.

So for all of my brides-to-be, please remember what your wedding day is all about and try to have some fun along the way! If you find yourself dreading the process or anxiously awaiting for the wedding to pass you by, your process needs to be tweaked. Here’s to your excitement only growing as the big day gets closer and closer.


5 Wedding Trends You Can Safely Skip (With No Regrets)

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Wedding-inspiration hubs such as Pinterest and Etsy have caused more and more brides to move away from old-fashioned traditions. Which one will you choose to leave at the altar?

Design by William Parkinson Events

Bouquet/Garter Toss

For couples looking for uninterrupted dancing time, the bouquet/garter toss may be something to forgo. This tradition usually winds up being more of a “we-feel-like-we-should-do-this” formality than something that the bride and groom are actually invested in. If you wouldn’t miss the toss at all, skip it!

Tiered Wedding Cake

No one on this planet loves cake more than I do. But even dessert-junkies like myself can find alternatives that allow you to spice things up a bit. Consider a sweetheart cake for the two of you to cut into and save, accompanied by a dessert of an entirely different nature, such as a sundae bar, venetian table, cookie bar, chocolate fountain, etc. This is where you can really put your personal touch on the menu!
(I’ve also had brides completely skip the cake cutting altogether, but I’m not entirely sure if the wedding world is ready for that elimination yet….)

Even Bridal Parties

Gone are the days when one groomsmen needed to be evenly paired up with one bridesmaid. If your hubby has 10 groomsmen and you have 4 bridesmaids, you can still make it work! Ceremony recessionals and reception introductions can always be customized. While I am undeniably a fan of symmetry at the altar, I encourage you to choose your bridal party members based off of who you really want to be an important part of your big day. Don’t feel the need to cut down or bulk up to match your partner’s number.

Signing Book

While I don’t see this too frequently anymore, the idea of a standard signature guest book still seems to linger. The guest book is another opportunity to get creative and show your guests a good time. Some of my all-time favorites include Polaroid selfies, calendar guest books (where guests sign their name on their birthday), and video messages that can be recorded via photo booths with video capability.

Cocktail Hour Photos

I encourage my brides to enjoy their cocktail hour as much as possible. Sometimes this means coordinating a first look with the photographer and getting as many photos taken ahead of time as possible. Other times it means emphasizing to your photographer and more importantly, your family members, that the photo session at the beginning of cocktail hour needs to be quick. Provide them with a meeting location ahead of time and designate a handful of bridal party members (or your wedding coordinator) to catch any stray uncles that may have headed straight to the open bar.

In the end, it’s your day—make it your own! If eliminating some of these trends will make for a happier Mr. & Mrs., it’s a no brainer. But if any of these traditions are vital to the success of your wedding day in your eyes, you should honor them. Before you begin your planning, take some time to sit down with your fiance and determine what aspects of the big day are the most important to you. This will help you weed out the grueling formalities from the ones that matter the most!

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